Girl With Mental Illness
The highest highs. The lowest lows.
I constantly feel like I’m at war with myself.
Which of my feelings are real? Which of the me’s is me?
The wild, impulsive, energetic and crazy one?
Or the shy, withdrawn, desperate, suicidal, doomed and tired one?
Probably a bit of both, hopefully much that is neither.
I was recently diagnosed with bipolar 1 disorder.
These past four months have by far been the hardest time of my life. There were many days when I felt defeated and wanted to give up.
I kept fighting and will continue fighting.
Bipolar disorder is a complex and severe mental illness that is not well understood nor readily talked out. 2.5 % of the population has some form of bipolar disorder.
15% of people with bipolar disorder will kill themselves.
50% of people with bipolar disorder will attempt suicide.
80% of people with bipolar disorder will think about it.
Bipolar disorder is a lifetime disorder.
The chance that a person with bipolar disorder experience another episode is 100% so it’s not a question of if, but instead it’s a question of when.
I refuse to apologize for something I can not control.
I am still me.
Not a mentally ill girl, but rather a girl with mental illness.
You can find more of Alex’s writing at www.girl-with-mental-illness.webnode.com.