Do you have to always love yourself? No.
To doubt is to be human.
Not knowing if you’re good enough.
Comparing yourself to others.
Seeing their strengths and failing to notice your own.
And it’s protective, in a way
Nestled inside the feeling of “not good enough” is a small scream, a desire to get better.
If you eschew your bad qualities, you can’t know what you need to improve.
Because right around the corner from the things you hate about yourself is the ability to flourish and explore.
If you always loved yourself, you’d grow complacent.
You’d never have any reason to change, to improve.
“Nothing endures but change.” — Heraclitus
When you don’t love yourself, you’re learning several things:
1. You’re developing self-awareness.
2. You’re finding yourself in relation to others.
3. You’re experiencing a very human struggle.
4. You’re proving that your brain is not broken — rather, it’s searching for meaning.
5. You’re acknowledging what not loving yourself feels like — what it means for you. And that is walking the path of self-discovery.
To experience self-love, you need to befriend the uncomfortable in your life.
It’s something most people already do well, getting attached to the bad but never turning the corner to find the good.
Remember, there is always something on the other side
There is always a converse emotion to the one you are currently having.
Why do people who know darkness become comedians?
Why do people who fall down become motivational speakers?
What is your other side?
Where you have been does not say where you will go.
Usually, it’s the opposite.
If you can learn to accept the not-loving-yourself feelings — if you can accept them as emotions that drift past moment by moment — you can turn the corner.
You’re halfway there.
Why dwell on what you are currently feeling and lose sight of the other half of the journey?
Two halves make a whole.
And it’s only when you can attach the good parts to the bad that you can make sense of who you are.
So, you don’t have to always love yourself.
In fact, it’s necessary not to.
You’re not alone in this.
And doubt is your heart’s way of showing you how much you truly care.